Mayor Pete Eats His Way Through Iowa, While Hickenlooper Looks For The Exit
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Mayor Pete Eats His Way Through Iowa, While Hickenlooper Looks For The Exit


BUT THE RACE TO REPLACE TRUMP
KEEPS HEATING UP, AND I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN TONIGHT’S
“DOIN’ IT DONKEY STYLE.” “NEVERTHELESS, SHE PERSISTED.”>>Stephen: FIRST UP ON THE “D”
STYLE IS FORMER COLORADO GOVERNOR JOHN HICKENLOOPER, SEEN
HICKENLOOPER HAS STRUGGLED TO GAIN TRACTION AND IS CONSIDERING
ENDING HIS PRESIDENTIAL BID AND ENTERING THE RACE FOR COLORADO’S
REPUBLICAN-HELD SENATE SEAT. BRAVO! BRAVO! GOOD FOR YOU! I LIKE THAT. FINALLY, A MAN WILLING TO PUT
ASIDE HIS EGO AND DO WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE COUNTRY. THAT GUY SHOULD RUN FOR
PRESIDENT. AND THE NUMBERS BACK HIM UP. ON SUNDAY, “THE DENVER POST”
PUBLISHED A POLL SAYING HICKENLOOPER WOULD LEAD OTHER
DEMOCRATS IN THE COLORADO SENATE RACE BY 51 PERCENTAGE POINTS,
WHICH SHOCKED HICKENLOOPER. HE DID NOT KNOW POLL NUMBERS
COULD HAVE TWO DIGITS. ( LAUGHTER )
AND HE’S PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THIS. AND HE’S TAKING THE IDEA OF
DROPPING OUT SERIOUSLY. IN FACT, LAST WEEKEND,
HICKENLOOPER HOPPED INTO SENATOR MICHAEL BENNET’S CAR TO DISCUSS
HIS IMPENDING DECISION. BENNET LISTENED TO HICKENLOOPER
CAREFULFULLY, THEN THOUGHTFULLY REPLIED, “WHO ARE YOU?”
BUT OTHER DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES —
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU. OTHER DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES ARE
STILL GOING STRONG, LIKE SOUTH BEND MAYOR AND PHOTO ON THE
INSIDE FLAP– BEND MAYOR AND PHOTO ON THE
INSIDE FLAP OF A SELF-PUBLISHED POETRY BOOK, MAYOR PETE
BUTTIGIEG. MAYOR PETE WAS AT THE IOWA STATE
FAIR YESTERDAY, AND HE SHOWED THAT HE’S WILLING TO PUT HIS
BODY ON THE LINE TO BE PRESIDENT. HERE HE IS DIVING INTO SOME
FRIED OREOS.>>YOU WANT SOME? I MEAN, I’M NOT GOING TO EAT
ALL SIX.>>Stephen: WELL, THEN YOU’RE
NOT GOING TO BE PRESIDENT, PETE! “I’M NOT GOING TO EAT ALL SIX.” OH, SOMEONE’S TOO GOOD FOR
CARDIAC ARREST. DON’T YOU KNOW GORGING YOURSELF
IN PUBLIC IS HOW AMERICAN KNOWS YOU’RE THE RIGHT CHOICE. CHESTER A. ARTHUR GOT THE JOB BY
WINNING A PIE-EATING CONTEST. THEY DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER HOLDING
AN ELECTION! THEY JUST HOSED HIM OFF AND
INAUGURATED HIM. BUT, OF COURSE, IT WASN’T ALL
FRIED FUN AND GAMES, BECAUSE MAYOR PETE’S DAY TOOK A BIT OF A
DARKER TURN WHEN HE TALKED TO THIS VETERAN IOWA FAIR-GOER.>>I SHOOK ROBERT KENNEDY’S
HAND.>>ALL RIGHT, SO YOU’RE GOOD
LUCK?>>NO! IT WAS A MONTH BEFORE HE GOT
SHOT! ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: (AS OLD WOMAN)
“I SHAKE EVERY CANDIDATE’S HAND TO SEE IF IT WAS JUST ME! THAT ANCIENT FORTUNE TELLER SAID
ALL I TOUCH WOULD WITHER TO DUST. YOU ARE DOOMED! YOU GOING TO FINISH THOSE
FRIED OREOS?” ( LAUGHTER )
THERE’S ALSO NEWS ABOUT VERMONT SENATOR AND SENTIENT DRYER LINT,
BERNIE SANDERS. ( LAUGHTER )
FOR YEARS, THE BERN HAS BEEN CRITICAL OF CORPORATE AMERICA,
ESPECIALLY AMAZON C.E.O. AND SUPER-COOL PENIS, JEFF BEZOS. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ).>>Jon: WHOA!>>Stephen: HEY, LADIES. LOOK, BUT DON’T TOUCH. AT A RECENT EVENT IN NEW
HAMPSHIRE, BERNIE WENT AFTER BEZOS AGAIN.>>YOU KNOW, IF YOU LOOK AT “THE
WASHINGTON POST”– WHICH IS OWNED BY THE WEALTHIEST GUY IN
THIS COUNTRY, A GUY NAMED JEFF BEZOS– AMAZON MADE $10 BILLION
IN PROFIT LAST YEAR. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THEY PAID IN
TAXES? YOU GOT IT! ZERO! ANY WONDER WHY “THE WASHINGTON
POST” IS NOT ONE OF MY GREAT SUPPORTERS? I WONDER WHY.>>Stephen: WAIT. HE’S STEALING TRUMP’S THING. (AS BERNIE)
“YES, THE JEFF BEZOS “THE WASHINGTON POST” IS– AND I
THINK I AM COINING THIS PHRASE– FAKE NEWS! SAD! IT’S A WITCH HUNT! A WITCH… HUNT! GOD BLESS THE UNITED STUSH.” NOW, BERNIE WENT ON–
( APPLAUSE ) BERNIE WENT ON TO EXPLAIN WHY
HE’S WORRIED ABOUT CORPORATE MEDIA, SAYING “LARGE
CORPORATIONS OWN THE MEDIA IN AMERICA, BY AND LARGE, AND I
THINK THERE IS A FRAMEWORK, ABOUT HOW THE CORPORATE MEDIA
FOCUSES ON POLITICS.” OKAY, BERNIE, THAT’S RIDICULOUS. I, STEPHEN COLBERT, WORK FOR A
MAJOR CORPORATE MEDIA. BUT I’M FREE FROM CORPORATE
INFLUENCE AND CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT. WHICH REMINDS ME: ALL HAIL THE
GLORIOUS MERGER OF VIACOM AND CBS! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MAY IT FOREVER BOLSTER OUR PREMIUM CONTENT PORTFOLIO AND
POSITION US TO SPAN ALL CONTENT CATEGORIES AND DEMOGRAPHICS,
CREATING ETERNAL VALUE FOR SHAREHOLDERS! VIACOM-CBS: STRONGER TOGETHER! WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

100 Comments

  • Nate Hladki

    Wait wait wait, so Donald Trump saying that CNN is "fake news," because they are critical of him is the same thing as Bernie saying, "Washington Post doesn't like me." Suuure, Colbert. Real flawless logic there. SMH

  • Delsi Ayala

    This reminds me of Chomsky: "I'm not saying you're self censoring. I'm sure you believe everything you say, but what I'm saying is, if you believed something different, you wouldn't be sitting where you're sitting"
    https://youtu.be/lLcpcytUnWU

  • burymeinpink

    Steven's Bernie impression really does keep getting better. He even nailed his impression of Bernie's impression of Trump.

  • Aaron H

    Stop hating on Bernie, Colbert. You were a shill for the establishment candidate in 2016, don't make that mistake again. The people want real change.

  • rob isselbaecher

    The out of context quote about aliens from the Rogan Podcast to this. It's obvious that Colbert is not a fan of Bernie.

  • The Humanity

    Apparently corporate bias in the media is a "conspiracy" now. That's like calling conservative bias in the Senate or Supreme Court a "conspiracy" even though it's evidently visible to anyone with half a brain cell.

  • Slimdulla87

    Obviously what Bernie Sanders said was true because now he has the whole corporate media attacking him now. And if yall idiots believe this 🤡 can say whatever he wants then you are as dumb as he is. He pushes the agenda of the company that pays him 5Mil for 3 years.

  • dabomb7887

    Pretty self-evident that the mainstream media and Stephen Colbert are backing Kamala Harris and are against Bernie Sanders and his progressive ideals that attacks them because they are also very wealthy.

  • Jace Cavacini

    And there we have it, more anti-Bernie Sanders jokes on corporate media CBS’s Late Show with Stephen Colbert. And then he turns legit bad-for-consumers (and everyone, really) corporate mergers into a silly joke… about corporate overlords. I like this show most of the time but the bias is definitely a thing. Biden is WAY more “crazy old man” than Sanders, yet all the crazy old man jokes are aimed at Sanders.

  • X-01 Unknown

    Long live Mayor Pete!!!Attention Voters! Look deeply in to candidate policies, their behavior when they believe no one is watching (esp before they began running for any political offices since the real act starts there), personality (because if you can’t see or hear this person and think, “hey, I could totally have a drink and a few laughs with this dude/chick!”, then they’re not genuine. Or if hey are genuine then they’re just bitter old farts who’d refuse even to sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody, and you just don’t need those bad vibes! Finally, ask yourself sincerely, “would I be okay letting my child idolize this person? Are they setting a good example for all our people? Do they leave a good image of the USA for other countries? Because allies!…. Do more people seem to line up behind them than oppose? Because “United” states!… Do they avoid transparent pandering (which is intellectually insulting to non-morons)? And above all, do you know their foundation? Meaning the framework that they stand upon and pitch to us is a deeply rooted and unmovable belief that can be bought or sold? Learn about these people please. Don’t just guess by their suit, lunch or mottos. That’s ignorance.

  • Fay Johnson

    Colbert, you can speak freely in your show because the network you are working for agrees with your opinion. I do not see any host or reporter in CBS who support Republicans views.

  • borot man

    I'm not going to pretend like Stephen is our wokest ally on light night or some shit like that, but are Bernie people that butthurt about this comparison? I'd say cry moar but apparently they've been crying about Hillary since 2016. You lot do share way too much with MAGAts and hopefully some of you realise this while others have been influenced by Bernie Russian bots.

  • Nicky Morris

    Could be a very good move by Hickenlooper. More Democrats in the Senate will only be a positive change for whoever's running in 2020.

  • [email protected]@mper

    Still no mention of the Bernie/Rogan interview…that's just 1 week out with over 9 million views and almost 400 thousands Likes?? Colbert's a corporate schill if there ever was one, pushing the centrist candidates only

  • IfYouWantCake,Bake

    Weird how you showed a clip of Sen. Sanders not once saying "fake news" just to go on and fake-quote him saying those exact words.
    Really, your Bernie-bashing gets more shameful everytime. Urg.

    Why don't you mention that the NYT wrote 16 negative articles about Sen. Sanders in 16 hours? Your obvious bias is already diminishing your credibility…

    Stick to the facts, Stephen. You are better than those so-called "jokes". Or at least you were, once upon a time^^
    (edited to fix an error)

  • jerk fudgewater

    Jeff Bazos is evil. They made a documentary about it, and his plans to build a space station for the rich, it’s called ELYSIUM

  • Geek The Girl

    Such joy to see all the comments below defending Bernie. There is no scenario in which Bernie could be reasonably compared to Trump. Stephen please – this is a huge turn-off. Thought the Late Show was smarter than this.

  • Sancho Ditherson

    I bet. Anyway Mayor Buttnut will be their guy. Doesn't have a prayer in hell be he's the only lefty that can feign sanity.

  • Make Racists Afraid Again

    Am I the only person who can't understand the donkey?
    I mean, not even close.

    "Lead by"? Lead with maybe?

  • Amanda Smith

    2:55 Funny that the only time Jean has made me laugh is when he was fucking quiet.
    Great reaction face, though. Someone gif that.

  • Lauren Hagenmeyer

    Hallo to Stephen and USA! ^_^ Fascinated by the idea of deep-fried Oreos, lol. Is that something very popular in the states?

  • Trigger Troll

    Watch. John Stossel
    Socialism fails every time on u tube. And then watch indigo traveler ( Venezuela series)
    You won’t vote democrat after that ( if your smart)

  • baleia7

    Ok, you did a dismissive joke about Bernie calling your bosses out, how about making a joke now about how your script writers managed include a false equivalency between Bernie and Trump, or how you seem to not realize how much of an influence your corporate overlords have over your show, and how stupid you look by not realizing. Yeah, make a joke about that next

  • Louise Dean

    Wow. People can’t take criticism against the people that they like can they? Is that why the right wingers refuse to believe any criticisms against trump? Because they refused to listen, just like most of the people in the comment section for sanders?

  • El3X G

    thanks but no thanks to bashing Bernie Sanders. What Bernie Sanders has to say these days is deadly serious. People have become numb to this, but when it comes right down to it, joking around about health care, fighting climate change etc is about as distasteful as joking about your bazillion mass shootings. There's a TON of things to make fun of and laugh about, Bernie Sanders is not one of them. Though I kinda can't be surprised since its coming from a wealthy, comfortable elderly man. You used to have a hard life and your comedy was edgy as hell, to the point, honest. You've lost that. You've just lost it.

  • Zion Nuby

    I love how Bernie Bros don't give sh*t about any of the other candidates and one jokes about BS Bernie and they get hurt

  • Caesar The II

    I hope Bernie is a Democratic Liberal instead of being a democratic SOCIALIST.

    Democratic SOCIALISM still revolves around SOCIALISM.

  • Vanessa Awada

    We were rooting for you Stephen. You disappointed me. If Bernie is elected and you turn against him, this relationship is over.

  • Hong Fei Bai

    Where do the taxes we pay for Amazon purchases go when we don't get free shipping?

    Btw, The Bernie thing was a joke. He's just pointing out similarities in Bernie and Trump's speech.

  • TheeSGM

    Stephen did the same thing 3 years ago castng doubts on Bernie's words – even though in this case, multiple journalists (incl pultzer winning) have documented in detail Washington Posts aggressive anti Bernie bias.
    This anti people propaganda by corporates is shameful.

  • Dany

    Sooo tired of the way that people make fun of Bernie. Making fun of his policies makes you seem like a corporate shill, making fun of his age just makes you look like a dick. He's almost flawless, and the media just rag and rag and rag on him.

  • Baha'adeen Al-ees

    We mock Burnie for his hilarious mannerisms, unlike most politicians he is saying something true and you have to foster that rather make him look more ridiculous so not put down what he's saying

  • Dorothy Majors

    Wow, so many comments protecting Bernie. This is comedy guys. Also, my view, he needs to drop out and be a great mentor for another candidate. He's TOO old. Sorry.

  • godonlyknows13

    Look, the corporate media really doesnt play nice with anyone who wants to make sure that the rich elite dont exert additional political influence over and above what the average citizen has. In other words, Fuck yes they're biased against Bernie Sanders and other progressives. To deny such a thing is to engage in intellectual dishonesty.

  • fintan darcy

    Bill de Blasio arrived at his victory party to an unusual tune. Political playlists are usually anodyne but de Blasio strode in to the thumping strains of a new pop song, Royals by a singersongwriter from New Zealand called Lorde. The crowd, young, left-wing and delirious with success, went wild. For 2020 President.

  • Cerbyo

    ur such a tool stephen srsly, ur not free at all ur owned. ur show always steers clear of topics the network has vested interest in. That said ur more than willing to coverup any problems by throwing ur former employees under the bus to save face when they are caught being rapists.

  • Cerbyo

    biden will lose if he is chosen. He will LOSE. he's no different than hilary. Yet he's the guy the establishment wants as president….so he's likely to get all the support from the big wigs to win. But when normal everyday people go to vote….they won't touch biden for being biden, they willl only vote for him because he's blue and not trump. And how did that workout for the polls last time….? Trump owns u in that scenario, he'll win easily unless people can vote for Biden because he's biden. And hardly anyone is going to do that, especially when the media is smeared with what he's done in the past….how conservative he's been and how he shot down all bernies ideals and the notions of modern day liberalism that he is now clinging to desperately to survive.

  • Corey Wong

    I wonder why Steven is bashing Bernie, as a brainy satire show you should write joke based on the substances, what Bernie says has a point. This is a serious real issue facing America, why joke like it's none of your business!?

  • EverythingTechPro

    Everyone is talking about him bashing Bernie yet no one talks about Yang who has been polling way higher that Pete B. Ayer refuses to give Andrew Tang any showtime.

  • bluedovepdx

    I think Colbert is all about himself and his career….time on the tv. Very serious issues facing our country and my impression is that Colbert is just try to find the entertainment value in the moment…. that he doesn't really care who is president as long as it's good for him.

  • bluedovepdx

    Corporate media loves corporate candidates. We must not expect Colbert or any other corporate media to be fair and honest to Bernie or any other candidates challenging the corrupt system.

  • AZOffRoadster

    Oh, Stephen. We all know you're a corporate shill, and we all love your previous you. Funny how large paychecks change who you are. I mean, just look at the people you now associate yourself with… https://medium.com/@RobletoFire/tulsi-gabbard-has-enemies-in-high-places-6fa7da05284 We miss you, Stephen.

  • Silvia C

    im not even a bernie stan like that and i usually love ur show but the guy is not trump AT ALL in his media critique. stop shitting on him tryna make him sound crazy bc he's clearly not

  • james edmondson

    I agree with a lot of these comments. There is disrespect toward Bernie and IGNORING Elizabeth Warren, altogether. Biden and Frackenlooper are Corporate Traitors – JOIN THE GOPigs (with Pelosi and Schumer). Corporate Dems are just a water-downed version of Repukes. and THAT is why Corporate Dems are a FAIL and got TrumPutin into office and will do it again. TrumPutin should've been in jail WAY before he became "president." He should be tried for Tax Evasion FIRST and then all the Violations while in office. This country is soooo Corrupt.

  • murrrmur

    Corporate Democrats: Biden, Harris, Buttigieg, Booker, O’Rourke

    Semi Corporate Democrats: Warren

    And then there’s Bernie, Yang

  • Core Conservative

    I love how republicans are elephants and democrats are donkeys 🤣😂 just think about which is smarter real quick 😂 and the democrats are proud of it!

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