Beast of Special | The Daily Show
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Beast of Special | The Daily Show


From Comedy Central’s
World News Headquarters
in New York,
“The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah” presents…
[rock music]
♪ ♪
– ♪ Wow! ♪
male announcer:
The Beast of Special.
♪ ♪
– Animals.
They’re cute, they’re cuddly
and sometimes,
they even pass legislation.
But sometimes,
animals can also be a bit much.
So to help us cover the big
animal stories in the news,
we turn to our own
“Daily Show” animal expert,
my Australian cousin,
with a new segment we call
[bleep] These Animals.
[cheers and applause]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
– [Australian accent]
Thanks, Trevor.
[laughter]
Yeah, I used to like animals.
That’s why I became a zoologist
or whatever this hat’s for.
Until one day,
my animal hero, Steve Irwin,
got stabbed in the heart
by a bloody stingray.
Everyone says
stingrays are harmless.
Well,
try telling that to Steve.
You can’t because of
a murdering stingray.
So that’s why I say
[bleep] these animals.
Look. People have
to stop bringing animals
to places
where they don’t belong.
Not for the animals’ sake.
You know me.
[bleep] these animals.
But because every time they get
brought somewhere,
they end up screwing things up
for us humans,
like the story out of Texas.
– The CBS Huston affiliate,
KHOU,
says a tiger was found
inside an abandoned home.
Authorities received
an anonymous call yesterday
from people
who had gone into the home
and, yes, discovered a tiger.
– They were going
to go into this vacant house
to smoke marijuana
and they discovered–
they were greeted
by a large tiger.
He’s in a rinky-dink cage
that could easily bust open.
It was–it was secured
with a nylon strap.
– Now, this story pisses me off
the most
because that tiger ruined
those people’s high.
Just imagine you go into
an abandoned house
to smoke weed and then you see
a bloody tiger.
You’re probably like,
“What kinda weed is this?”
[laughter]
That house cat
looks like a tiger.
So then you go,
“Let me pet the cat.”
But guess what?
It’s a bloody tiger, mate.
So it rips you’re arm clean off.
Now you got one arm
and the worst part is
that’s the arm
that had your joints in it.
[bleep] these animals!
Another thing that bothers me
about the story
is who moves out of their house
and forgets their tiger.
What bogan is
leaving the house like,
“Oh keys, wallet, phone.
What am I missing?
Oh yeah, my 300 pound
jungle monster.”
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
– The Spanish police
have just introduced
their cutest police officer
that you’ve ever seen
in your life.
– A four-legged rescuer
in Spain has an unusual skill.
Police in Madrid
are showing off
the CPR technique
of Poncho the police dog.
He bounces
on his handlers chest
and even checks for breathing.
The video has been viewed
millions of times
on Facebook and Twitter.
– Oh, that’s so cute.
That is so cute.
I mean no way that guy lives,
but it’s so cute.
♪ ♪
For the last seven years,
Assange has been protected
by living
in the Ecuadorian embassy.
But, apparently,
Ecuador has discovered
that hackers make
terrible house guests.
– Why was that asylum lifted
overnight?
– There had been reports
for some time
that Assange was sort of–
had outlived his welcome there
in the embassy
for all sorts of reasons,
including
that he was skateboarding
in the halls…
– So weird.
– And stealing Wi-Fi,
and that his cat had been
making a mess.
So the–you know,
the Ecuadorians
were getting sick
of having him there.
– The most disturbing thing
about the story
is somehow not the fact
that Assange allowed it
to shit all over the embassy.
No, it’s that every day
he dressed that poor thing up
in a tie
and collar.
And I’m talking
an entire wardrobe, right?
Yeah.
[laughter]
Like, if I worked
in the Ecuadorian embassy,
that would be my sign
that Assange was losing it.
He’d just be like, “I need
some tiny ties for my cat.
He just got his accounting
degree.”
I’d be like, “Okay.
I think it’s time
for you to go buddy.”
And if you ever owned cats,
you know that cats
don’t enjoy that, right?
I mean cats don’t enjoy
anything,
but they especially don’t enjoy
being dressed up as people,
all right?
He’s not yawning in this photo.
He’s screaming,
“Help me!
Help!”
[rock music]
♪ ♪
– A seemingly tame beluga whale
was spotted off the coast
of Norway,
and this morning, some believe
this whale’s
actually being used
to gather intelligence
for the Russians.
– Some experts believe
this beluga whale
was trained
by the Russian military
to be a spy.
– Okay.
Okay, now, I’ve heard it all.
The Russians
are training whales
as spies?
That is next level.
And also,
I don’t think he wants a spy
that can easily be flipped by
just offering it fish, right?
Like think about it.
It’s not gonna be a good spy.
People will just be
in the interrogation room like,
“Tell me where it is”
and the whale will be like,
“You’ll never make me talk.”
“Anyone want a fish?”
[chattering]
Just because
this whale was found
wearing a Russian harness
doesn’t necessarily mean
he’s a spy.
Whales are
very sophisticated creatures.
For all we know,
he’s just into some BDSM.
[laughter]
Ah, and who are we to judge?
What you do with your blowhole
is your business.
[upbeat music]
You’re not gonna believe this,
but something really strange
happened in Florida.
– A rare bird
that rammed into its owner
and killed him
is up for auction.
Marvin Hajone died
after he was attacked
by the cassowary
in Gainesville.
The flightless bird
is now for sale
along with 100 other
exotic animals
from the man’s
personal collection.
– Quick question:
Why are they auctioning off
the killer bird?
[laughter]
Like, who’s bidding on that?
Is there someone out there
showing up like,
“200,
I’ll fight that bird.”
[laughter]
And you know that, like,
people are like, “This bird,
I can’t believe it.”
But let’s be–
let’s be fair people.
We murder birds every day.
Like hundreds of thousands
of them, yeah.
So life really is
about perspective.
We call this bird a murderer,
but chickens locked up
in farms everywhere,
they’re like,
“Yo, that’s our Malcolm X.
That’s what that is.
That was revenge.”
They’re getting tattoos
of that bird
on themselves right now.
[laughter]
And Florida or not,
it is shocking
to hear that there’s a bird
that can kill people.
It’s like finding out there’s
a gerbil that commits arson.
“Mr. Snickers, no!”
[rock music]
♪ ♪
– Two lions were recently
caught in the act
at a national park in Kenya,
but this wasn’t your average
instance of mating.
That’s because both the lions
were male.
The head of Kenya’s
Film Censorship Board,
Ezekiel Mutua, called
for the lions to be isolated.
On November 2nd,
he told the Nairobi News…
[laughter]
– Oh, wow.
This Kenyan politician
thinks that these lions
learned this from gay people.
Like, this is either homophobia
on another level
or gay people are incredible
animal trainers.
[laughter]
I can’t even get my dog to sit
and they’ve got these lions
sixty nine-ing, really?
[laughter]
Or maybe–
or maybe he’s just jealous
because I know I’m jealous.
I mean look at that guy.
Huh?
Look at that guy.
You ever been so satisfied
you lost control of your tongue?
Just like…
[grunting]
[laughter and applause]
Hakuna matata!
[laughter]
I would love to be
on that safari
just to hear the conversation,
“Mommy, are those lions
making babies?”
“No, sweetie, they’re
just having a good time.”
– These days a lot of people
are criticizing the police.
Not me, of course,
because I love the police.
In fact when people say,
“[bleep] the police,”
I say “Yeah.
“I want to [bleep] the police.
“Hard.
“I want to make love
to the police.
I love the police.”
And cops around the country
are making changes,
but in Michigan,
there is one police department
that’s going way too far.
– There is a new sheriff
in town today.
Detroit Police Department’s
newest pawfficer
was sworn in for duty.
– This is
the latest recruit to
the Detroit Police Department
Feline Unit.
Meet Pawfficer Donut
ready to report for duty.
Pawfficer Donut is
the first official police cat
in Michigan.
– We want to show that
the police have
a human side too.
– Wow, the police got a kitten.
Finally,
Colin Kaepernick can stand.
How is this supposed
to humanize the police?
Liking cats doesn’t
make you sympathetic.
It makes you every lonely person
on Instagram, right?
And look, I get that
law enforcement today
is willing to do anything
to get people to like them
except obviously,
not shoot black people,
but this won’t work
because throwing cats
at a problem
never solved anything, right?
I learned that the hard way
during a grease fire
in my apartment.
– Ronny–Ronny, I feel like
you’re taking this
too seriously.
– I’m taking this
too seriously?
Yo, the police had the judge
swear the cat in.
– Judge Nielsen Hartig
and Judge McGinnis
perform the ceremony
asking Pawfficer Donut
to raise her right paw.
[laughter]
– Oh, my God, that’s so cute.
– She promised
to purr-tect and serve,
act as an ambassador
to the community,
be tolerant of the K9 unit,
and even cuddle when needed.
– Okay, first of all,
if you’ve ever spent any time
with a cat,
you know that that oath
is bullshit, okay?
The only oath a cat ever keeps
is
to show you his butt hole
and tear up your couch.
– Ronny,
you are being heartless.
The cat is so cute.
– I’m being heartless?
Yo, just listen to how the cops
treated their previous cat.
– The campaign
to fill their feline unit
has had ups and downs.
This week they found out
the original Kitty recruit,
Pawfficer Badges,
has feline leukemia.
– It’s a good thing we had
Officer Donut in the wings
who was able
to rise to the occasion.
– That police department
is cold, all right.
That first police cat got cancer
so they replaced him
with another cat.
Who fires a sick kitten?
[laughter]
Now, Officer Badges isn’t just
dealing with Kitty Leukemia,
he’s an alcoholic too.
He’s probably down
at a local bar
lapping Jameson
out of a saucer.
– Hey, Ronny, I-I don’t mean
to make it personal,
but are you–are you okay, man?
This seems like something
that touches you.
– Yeah, it is.
Because Detroit Michigan PD
is treating police cats
like their little mascots
and they’re not,
and I know that
because my own cat
also joined the police force.
[laughter]
Do you have any idea
what it’s like
to live with a police cat?
Waiting up all night
for Sergeant Mr. Snuggles
to come home?
[laughter]
And then one day,
getting a call from the chief
with the words you’ve–
you’ve always dreaded,
“Your cat…
got stuck in the wall again.”
[laughter]
[sobs]
– I’m so sorry.
Ronny Chang everyone.
♪ ♪
Chimpanzees.
They’re one of the humans’
closest relatives, all right?
And today we found out
that they’re even closer
to the humans
than we thought.
– People are going bananas over
this incredible video
of a chimpanzee
who’s managed to work out
how to use an iPhone.
The academic ape is seen
scrolling through videos
and photos on the smartphone
after mastering the ability
to swipe through
different images.
– Are you shitting me?
[laughter]
There’s a chimpanzee
who knows how to use Instagram?
And people are saying
that this video shows
how smart chimps are?
I actually think
it’s the opposite.
It proves that Instagram appeals
to the chimp part
inside human brains.
Yeah.
Because I don’t know about you,
but Instagram makes me
real dumb.
I’m having complicated
discussions during the day
just like, “Hey, you know
when you look at the economy
and you look at what’s
happening in Congress now,”
and then you get on Instagram
and you’re like,
[chattering]
[laughter]
♪ ♪
– Police in Florida got
some unexpected help
corralling a suspect
after a stolen car chase there.
Check this out.
Helicopter footage
from the Seminole County
Sheriff’s Office
shows the car crashing into
a ditch Sunday night.
Look closely.
The officers capture
the driver
before he can run very far.
Meanwhile, a herd of cows
goes after
the fleeing passenger.
– Oh.
– South of east of you,
um, the–actually,
the large group of cows
is following her.
– The cows harassed
and herded the woman
to a nearby dirt road.
Deputies were waiting
to arrest her.
– I think this says more
about Florida
than anything else.
[laughter]
Things are so crazy there,
even the cows are like,
“Well, someone’s
got to do something.
We’ve got to do something.”
♪ ♪
Last night, a woman
in California led police
on a car chase in an RV.
Now, luckily,
no people or animals were hurt.
But please brace yourselves
for one of the craziest things
you’ve ever seen.
– A wild police chase
near Los Angeles last night
involving a stolen motor home.
A woman behind the wheel
crashed into
a parking lot tree,
ripping off part of
the front end of a windshield.
She also hit several cars
during the chase.
At one point,
a dog could be seen
hanging out
of the open windshield
before it jumped out.
It all ended
when the motor home hit a car.
– Like you realize,
this was so insane
that even the woman’s dog
was trying to escape.
Like, that’s when you know
you’ve gone too far;
when your dog’s trying
to abandon you.
Yeah. Because dogs
are ride or die, right?
I’ve seen homeless people
with dogs.
Dogs will stick with you
through thick and thin.
That’s why we love them.
But that dog was like,
“All right, I know two things:
“peanut butter is delicious
and this bitch is crazy.
I’m out.”
[laughter and applause]
“I’m out.”
[cheers and applause]
– Staten Island.
A place famous for “Mob Wives,”
spray tans, and cheese sticks.
But there’s more
to the wildlife here
than just beefed up
sleeve-haters.
So I met up with park ranger,
Sarah Aucoin,
to find out more.
– There actually are
a lot of wild animals here.
We have a big population
of deer,
actually, in Staten Island.
– You may have heard of deer
when they went viral
last August
or from that popular
Snapchat filter.
Adorable, right?
Wrong.
– You know in this case,
there–there can be
too much of a–of a good thing.
The deer population
can grow larger
than the environment
can support it
and that’s something
we definitely want to control.
– In six years,
Staten Island went
from 24 deer
to nearly a thousand,
leading to Lyme disease,
property damage,
and the destruction of several
souped-up Nissan Maximas.
All right. so how are we going
to take care of this?
Kentucky style?
[mimics shotgun racking]
– No, we’re not–
we’re not going to–
– Chicago style?
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pff.
– No–no.
– Texas style.
[mimics automatic gunfire]
– We’re not taking
any lethal action.
We’re going
to be performing vasectomies.
[laughter]
– Sure, that’s the…
Yeah, that’s the obvious
solution to the problem.
That would be the first thing
that one would think of.
– Well, honestly it is–
it is a little bit
outside of the box.
– Way outside the box.
And this raises
one pressing question.
Woman to woman…
When you cut their dicks off,
does it feel good?
– Actually,
I’ve to correct you.
We–we’re not castrating them.
And, in fact,
we’re not going to do it.
We’re hiring a contractor
who has expertise
in this area,
Tony DeNicola.
– Oh, so you got a guy, Tony.
– I got a guy, Tony.
– You got a guy, Tony.
Is it Check and Loan Tony?
– No.
– Free-gas-for-handies Tony.
– Not the same Tony.
– Thirsty Thursday
is karaoke night Tony.
– This is not the same Tony.
– Different Tony.
So I met up
with dick slayer Tony,
Tony DeNicola.
Did you always know
that you wanted to neuter deer
or did you lose a bet?
– Uh, no, it’s a lot more
complicated than that.
– Uh, yeah.
Tony’s plan involved cameras,
tracking,
and yes, I knew it, a gun.
Is it pretty precise
when you shoot their dicks off?
– Um, we’re not that good.
– Ugh, turns out they’re going
to tranquilize them
and give them operations.
There’s just one problem.
– This idea is nuts.
– Meet deer expert,
Al Cambronne.
– For this to work,
we’d need to capture
nearly all those bucks
and if only,
say, 20% remain,
then we’ll still have
lots of fawns next spring.
– So they’re gonna still…
– Yeah, and one buck can
happily breed many does.
– Well, Staten Island.
– Yeah.
Another problem is
that deer can swim.
Bucks are going to be coming
from New Jersey.
– Bridge and tunnel deer are
the worst.
– And we’ll be right back
where we started.
– And it gets worse.
This is going to cost
$2 million.
That’s, like,
over 5,000 a dick.
– Relative to the cost
of not doing anything,
we think it’s
a really wise investment.
– One more problem
with the vasectomy plan…
– Ah, Jesus.
– Every fall,
there’s deer mating season;
what we call the rut.
Those that don’t
become pregnant,
they’ll be back in heat.
Things get wild out there.
– Like a two month
[bleep] frenzy.
– Exactly.
– Or like summer bible camp.
– Yeah.
– Time to come up with
a more realistic solution.
Have you thought
about introducing
Japanese deer sex dolls?
– Well…
that’s a possibility.
– Worked for my husband.
– Hmm.
– Won’t even look at me now.
Nothing.
– They are, during the rut,
interested in only one thing.
– It’s like, I just had a baby
and your body changes
and biologically, things are
a little bit different.
And when you nurse,
things happen to your body
and you won’t even want to know
what happens down there
after having it.
– Yeah.
– It’s like, sometimes,
a woman just needs attention.
Sure, Al was a great listener,
but he had no solutions.
But you know who might?
Good old-fashioned,
salt-of-the-earth,
Staten Islanders.
– Take down those [bleep]
with a baseball bat.
– We should get some [bleep]
mountain lions over here.
– This plan is going to cost
$2 million.
– $2 million?
Give me and Rob a million
and we’ll take care take of it.
– We’ll take care of it
ourselves,
and every deer
on Staten Island.
I’ll wait in a tree stand
every night
and I’ll get every deer…
guaranteed.
– I put it right
in the headlock on my arms.
– You look like
Christina Aguilera.
Are you her?
– No, I’m not
Christina Aguilera.
– Oh, okay.
– I got a few solutions.
– What are they?
– Me and you…
jump in my car
and go back to my place.
– That’s when I realized,
we had the perfect solution
this whole time.
Just for a different
Staten Island problem.
Finally,
time to cut some dicks off.
– In California,
as of January 1st,
pets are now
legally considered
part of the family
in divorces,
not just property.
Judges can assign sole
or joint custody
based on the best interests
of the pet.
– Wow.
This is beyond [bleep] stupid.
[laughter]
How do you determine
the best interests of the pet?
What if it’s a weasel?
Or a tarantula?
Even if it’s a dog,
you’re just going
to have two lawyers
at opposite sides of
the courtroom calling its name
and the winner will be whoever
touched sausages that morning.
[laughter]
I say, if we’re going
to treat pets
like children of a divorce,
let’s not half ass it.
We should really treat them
like children of a divorce.
“I’m sorry, Whiskers,
“cleaning your litter box
drove Mommy and Daddy apart,
and the guilt
will probably drive you
to the pole.
[laughter]

100 Comments

  • Abdulatif Salat

    7:02 Nairobi News is not a credible source. It is a gutter newspaper and to be honest this wasn't news that anyone in Kenya was talking about. It is all made up i would say.

  • DisneyHouseDad

    Wow. That was like 90% stupid, 10% funny. For the first time in, I don't even know how many years, I feel like unsubscribing. Come on Trevor….

  • narek

    If you laugh at jokes about cutting dicks off, you're obligated to also laugh at female genital mutilation, if you don't then you're a pathetic hypocrite and can't call yourself egalitarian. The left today sickens me

  • Tara AWM

    Well here goes…I know I'm going to get some hate comments for this but, in some parts of the United States, people are allowed to hunt deer during certain times in order to keep the population down.
    I know, you're thinking OMG don't shoot Bambi! 😫
    Well let me tell you something about Bambi 🤨
    That MF can take a Landrover and it's driver down just by running out in front of it. Deer cause thousands of road accidents every year.
    They destroy property, i.e. gardens and they spread disease including lyme disease.
    So yeah New York. If you want to fix your deer problem, you might consider seasonal hunting.
    It's not like you are killing an endangered species. That would be completely different.

  • Naimul Haq

    Noah just stopped short of shooting Trump's dick, better luck next time if he doesn't re[lace himself with his buddy E[stein.

  • Global Experience Ndlovu

    "Thts how yu knw yu gone too far ;whn your dog wants out & leave yu " 😅😅😂😂….. straight up hand core

  • Lemonade

    I fucking hate the person who put a tiger in a cage. I hope that person goes to jail, same as a kidnapper who keeps a child in their basement.

  • David W.

    I grew up in troy, mi and speaking as someone whose been inexplicably pulled over at least a dozen times in the last 5 years, I can tell you that this story is about right for troy. Btw troy cops are notoriously racist against blacks and Muslims. I've seen it behind closed doors with my own eyes.

  • Shabnam Sultan

    You're joking right? It's not like any of these animals have a choice, they are imprisoned in cages and kept by us humans. How could none of you people have no shame as to what you are doing?! These animals are alive and breathing just like us. It is because of people like you that enviornmental conservative laws are not having effect. If we are saving animals and you are harming them, then that doesn't make any sense. Also, if you think about it, it's not the animals invading our space. They were here long before you and me. So stop this InHumane act right now, and grow up!

  • RobbyOnTheWay

    2:40 Spain is one of the countries where cruelty to animals is still a constant and the law does nothing about it! Spain is a backward country in terms of animal welfare!

  • BladesWillxBleed

    I think this is probably a good place to make this point about the Cecil the lion thing and his kid. The exact area that lion was in is ran by a local people who raise them there get their income from the perverse assholes that pay to shoot them. BUT they use that money to raise more lions than can be killed. That being said because the Cecil guy got it so bad hunters did stop going & those people had an overpopulation problem with their lions and had to murder like 200 of them to preserve local resources. At first its like "why wouldnt they transport them away" but its obvious that they weren't raising funds to be able to do that because the hunters stopped going. Logistics cost money. They shitty part of it all is that the environment and economy of the area depends on the shitty trophy hunters popping up spending stupid amounts of money. Until a just as profitable way of raising the lions is implemented in the area the lions and the people rely on the assholes. So please if you're going to shame the shitty trophy hunters, then please also be willing to give the lion farmers of the land $50000 on a regular basis.

  • DeeEll86442

    I thought I was gonna laugh my ass off when they did the story about the gay lions in Kenya. That was just too funny 😂 Anyone else agree?🙋‍♀️

  • Karen Piotte

    About the lions my god to funny! Stop having gay sex in front of the lion exhibit! I've heard that bonobos(chimps)hump everything female, males, babies.

  • Ben Holt

    The Steve Irwin Thing. Yes. Agreed. Fuck That Stingray In Particular. But Steve Did And Would’ve LovedIt Anyways.

  • SinriWoah LIVE!

    i think maybe the whale was just a Russian "tagged" type deal whale… i dont get how a Beluga whale (which, fun fact is closer related to dolphins than whales) can "collect intelligence" unless it had a recording device… but its not like it can take in human language and give the Russians information about said human language…..

  • Montessa Cahn

    I LOVE YOU TREVOR. I LOVE YOUR GRANNY ALSO. REALLY WISH MOM WOULD COME ON AMD SHOW HERSELF. SO WE CONGRATULATE HER FOR RAISING A WONDERFUL HUMBLE SON!!! LOVE YA. KEEP US LAUGHING WITH REAL ISSUES. YOU AND DL HUGHLEY SHOULD COLLABORATE ON SOMETHING. I'LL BE THERE FRONT ROW!!!

  • Friedemann Kindt

    Vasectomies as means of population control for game animals… I'm all for creating jobs but shouldn't problems be solved instead of maintained? Don't know who but somebody is stuffing his or her pockets with money or favors here.

  • jess doesn't know what to put as her name

    what would be cute is if they used the cat as a therapy cat for victims who need counseling

  • Lisa L

    The most unbelievable part of the tiger story is the guy saying the people were going into an abandoned house to smoke marijuana. No one goes in abandoned homes to smoke weed. They go there to ingest meth, crack or heroin in multiple ways. We smoke our weed in places where we can chill out and relax.

  • Andrew Huseby

    I'm lying here in bed watching this and hitting my vape pen LMAO I remember the old days of trespassing just for a place to smoke

  • tesscot

    Okay so Kenya has a politician who thinks lions can catch gayness from gay humans. And I think my US politicians are bad.

  • Trista & The Edibles

    FUUUU-NY, MAN !! LOL #trevorsoclever HOWEVER, I think u shouldn't have undermined #SAVEJULIANASSANGE so much, because he NEEDS PUBLIC SUPPORT. HE UNDERStandably, has been TRAUMATIZED by being PERSECUTED by USG & T-Rump Administration. This in turn undermines FREEDOM OF SPEECH & FREEDOM OF THE PRESS. Moreover, in the interest of protecting the Fifth Estate & therefore ALL OUR FREEDOMS; I ask u to call for JulianAssange's IMMEDIATE RELEASE & DROPPING OF ALL CHARGES. This is a blatant case of T-Rump harassment & intimidation tactics & abuse of power etc etc etc…. CRIMINAL CHARGES THAT #ACLU SHOULD IMMEDIATELY FILE AN AVALANCHE OF LITIGATION TO BURY THIS CS IN SCANDAL & FORCE HIM TO STEP DOWN WHETHER HE WANTS TO OR NOT !!!!!! #IMPEACH2NITE #IMPEACHYESTERDAY #WTFCONGRESS #YOUSUCK !!!
    FurthermoreWHISTLEBLOWERS continue to have their LIVES DESTROYED by such public SMEAR CAMPAIGNS AGAINST PEOPLE WHO ARE DECENT, GOOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAVE THE LIVES OF OTHERS
    #TRISTA4GUVNA2020 #FREETHEBABIES #TRUMP4PRISON

  • Trista & The Edibles

    THANK YOU RONNIE CHIENG FOR POINTING OUT THAT FOR THE POLICE TO GET OUR RESPECT, THEY'VE GOTTA STOP SHOOTING BLACK PEOPLE ! YEAH, F*%K THAT, U ARE SO RIGHT!! & SO HANDSOME ASIAN GUY! & FUNNY OF COURSE !! 🙂 LET ME KNOW WHEN U GO STRAIGHT LOL
    PS LOVE!!! TREVOR'S AUSSIE ACCENT ! HOW BOUT DOING WHOLE SEGMENTS IN YER MYRIAD OF DIFFERENT ACCENTS & PERSONAS..>! YOU ROCK, BTW, TREVOR ! #TREVORSOCLEVER OPRAH WAS RIGHT- U OUR FORM OF NATIONAL THERAPY. THAT IS WHY YER AUDIENCE LOVES U SO MUCH! ! U CAN HEAR IT IN THEIR LAUGHTER & APPLAUSE; U SPEAK FOR US LIKE NO OTHER! 🙂 JOKIN' ABOUT POLITICS IN A C*UNTRY OF PEOPLE TOO TERRIFIED TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS ANYMORE; ITS RISE OF FASCIST NAZI IDEOLOGY PROMOTED IN ITS VERY OWN EXECUTIVE !
    BUT LIKE FEMINIST PHILOSOPHERS SAY, "POLITICS IS PERSONAL'. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS GENOCIDE ON OUR BORDERS; IT IS NOT JUST MY OWN BUDDHIST BELIEF; IT IS UNIVERSAL LAW.
    AND WHEN I'M GUVNA, / ALL THAT SHEE-IT'S GONNA STOP/OVERNIGHT !!!! /WE GONNA FREE DA BABIES/WE GONNA GET RIDDA THE NAZIS / WE GONNA GET THE VOTE BACK!/WE GONNNA FREE THE PRISONERS / WE GONNA B SO HAPPY/&& RELIEVED, BELIEVE U ME !! /WE GONNA EXPUNGE THE RECORDS/ WE GONNA FREE THE POTHEADS/WE GONNA LEGALIZE THIS SH*IT/CUZ ITS MEDICINE /&MAKES US HAPPY/WE GONNA PARTY AT THE GUVNA'S MANSION/IN NOVEMBER 20120!!!!! /INVITE GOV. JAY INSLEE /AS GUEST OF HONOUR 🙂
    THANK U FOR HELPING US TURN INTO A MORE COMPASSIONATE, SANE SOCIETY W/YER ECLECTIC BRAND O' HUMOUR .
    WILL U PLEASE ENDORSE ME FOR GOVERNOR OF ARIZONA? {:) #TRISTA4GUVNA2020
    IF T-RUMP REVOKES YER VISA, EVER, ONCE I GET ELECTED PRES OF COURSE I WOULD PARDON YOU & GIVE YOU A HERO'S WELCOME HOME TO AMERICA, IF U WILL HAVE US 🙂 U COULD HOST THE CORRESPONDENT'S DINNER EVERY YEAR, OF COURSE HAHA AMBASSADOR TO S. AFRICA. AS WELL AS MANY OTHER FUNCTIONS; CABINET, IF U LIKE. U CAN BE THE FIRST PRESIDENTPERIOD. (NOT JUST FIRST BLACK, 1ST 'FOREIGN', S.AFRIKAAN ETC) OF A NEW AMERICAN ACADEMY OF FINE ARTS.
    AM I AS PRESIDENT ALLOWED TO HAVE FOREIGNERS IN MY CABINET? I WILL. MAYBE I WILL BE THE FIRST TO TRY, & THEN THE FIRST TO SUCCEED. 🙂
    YOU ARE INVALUABLE TO US & THE U.S; TREVOR, U ARE A TREASURE/ U ARE PRECIOUS RESOURCE/
    YOU KNOW HOW U WERE SAYIN' THAT T-RUMP TALKS 2 SEAN HANNITY EV'RY NITE B4 BED ! HAHA CREATING A FEEDBACK LOOP OF B.S. THAT T-RUMP BELIEVES BY SEEIN' IT ON HIS MOUTHPIECE OF FOX NEWS… WELL, WHEN I'M PREZ, I'M GONNA COMMUNICATE W/FINE PEOPLE SUCH AS YERSELF 🙂 & AMY GOODMAN, TOO !! 🙂 & NOAM CHOMSKY ! & RALPH NADER ! ETC ETC ALL THE TALENT & BRAINS IN OUR COUNTRY THAT HAS UNTIL NOW NOT BEEN PROPERLY & FULLY REALIZED.
    U HAVE MUCH TO OFFER THE U;S. SAVE U.S. ! DOH, THAT'S RIGHT, U ALREADY DO 🙂
    HOPE YER VISA NEVER GETS YANKED BY THE NAZIS ! 🙂 TOGETHER, WE'LL OVERCOME !! KEEP THE FAITH, MAN!! LOVE YAZ!!! GREAT JOBS U GUYZ & GALZ AT TREVOR NOAH'S DAILY SHOW!!! Y'ALL DO A PHE-NOMENAL JOB!!!!
    YER GREATEST FAN, PERHAPS !!!! 🙂
    TRISTA DI GENOVA

  • Christine Still

    The heart compression dog was part of a dancing dog competition. Owners select their own themes & these two brought down the house!

  • Martin Dahl

    Great episode and a lot of fun and brilliant jokes!
    But not laughing when you are joking about Julian Assange and ridiculing a human rights activist calling him a simple hacker when he is a great and very important journalist! Trevor i know you are smart so that just leaves two options.
    1. Your trapped in MCNBCs and washington posts echo chamber/state controlled propaganda outlet and you don't understand the importance of hearing what the whole range of major media outlets has to say. Especially when something dosnt add up! Then you do your own journalism, check sources and read up on the topic as much as you can to find the truth. Embrace new insights and if you have learned something new by rigorous research and logical reasoning it is no embarrassment at all to change your opinion and admit to being wrong. Thats how science works!
    It is incredible how gullible people are these days and how everything is black or white. Like either you watch Fox news or you watch CNN and MSNBC or you only watch RT. IF you do you will never get the complete picture of important events. CNN has been proven to intentionally show fabricated stories for example during the Gulf War and the list goes on.
    Ever noticed how all US media outlets unite when it comes to war and aggression on sovereign countries?
    2. Your just payd to tell the appropriate jokes by your employer and abandon morality in favour of cash and fame. (I hope not)

  • Yah boy Skinny weiner

    I knew the man that got killed by the bird. He was an asshole and never took care of his shit. Marv had it coming

  • TheMatron'sMilitia

    Who's fucking idea was it to let people bring cassowaries to Florida? They're gonna be the next bermese python, but more evisceratey

  • Yapah Yasharahla

    The red man calling a deer in its natural habitat a bug. You steal the land and 99 percent of the canopy’s (environment)!!You r the Devil the Bible speaks of. SMH WOW

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